Approaching the Big 50!

This is the post excerpt.


Getting closer to the big 50! How did that happen? I’m sure I went to bed last night aged 30! I’m excited and scared at the same time, part of me can’t wait to be able to say things that only old people are able to get away with, but part of me is scared that this is the beginning of the end. I feel OK for my age, not one for the gym or much exercise, but thankfully I was blessed with a high metabolism, I managed to roughly stay the same size throughout my life and be fairly healthy.

I definitely will be in the camp of growing old disgracefully. I will embrace the wrinkles, everything that’s gone south, but my mind will be 30 forever! Well this is the aim! I wonder if our parents felt like this? They seem to have been born in a generation that made it easier to move into the next phase. With my generation, it feels like the lines are more blurred. We don’t fit the mould! And I for one am thankful for this.

So, what are we? Yummy mummies and glam ma’s who have raised our children, but still have more to give and are not ready for the blue rinse brigade just yet. In some ways, its feels like life is just beginning, I am finally at a point in life where I am old enough to have wisdom and knowledge from living, but still young enough to do things with that knowledge, and experience life with a whole new perspective.

So, it begins, get ready we are going on an adventure!

The Relationship

Every time I think of you,
A smile creeps onto my face,
No one understands, if only they knew,
I can feel every perfect trace,
Not long now before I see your face,
I can’t take the waiting anymore,
I feel so sick as I stoop to the floor,
I can’t breathe I start to sweat,
You’re almost here, I can safely bet,
I await with such anticipation,
Oh the joy! Oh what elation!
A mass of gorgeous brown curls,
Your eyes are like cloudy pearls,
Your skin so soft, pure and clear,
You are all that I hold dear,
You look at me with eyes of wonder,
I look back at you even fonder,
As the figure draws closer on the ward,
The nurse takes you to cut the cord.


Spring is here and I feel excited for the warmer climate, however brief.  It sounds corny but everything seems nicer in the sunshine.  Although for those that know me, it’s a long way off before the toes come out lol.  The flowers and plants come to life in an abundance of colours.

Time for BBQ’s, water fights, social gatherings outdoors, and just chilling in the garden, all the things I love about warm weather.  People are nicer and happier, although some clothing choices are cringeworthy lol.  The only down side is working in an office when the sun is shining, I long to be out there, being in tune with the universe and all the wonderful things mother nature provides.

Everyone is more social, you spend more time outdoors instead of the inside of a box.  Maybe because I’m on a spiritual journey I feel more at peace and at home when surrounded by nature in its natural habitat.  Blank canvas’ suddenly spring to life with bulbs popping up everywhere as if someone just came and planted them there, nature is awesome.

1 Love to you all!

Spiritual Awakening

As I approach my senior years, I feel like I am finally waking up from a deep slumber.  I have removed the blinkers and I can see!  I have never been into religion, I tried many and nothing seemed to fit or make sense, but the older I get and the more in tune I get with myself I find myself drawn to spirituality in different forms.  I try to change my way of thinking and dismiss negativity out of my life.  And so far it seems to be working.  Don’t get me wrong I struggle and find it hard at times but each day it gets easier and easier.

Society doesn’t make it easy, with taxes on everything but the air we breathe, rules and regulations to make us conform to their ideals, I have had to try and uneducate myself and start from scratch.  I’m retraining my brain to be happy regardless of what hurdles are put in my path.  Working my guts out for the benefit of someone else, paying taxes for things I already own and have paid for, these are the things designed to keep us down.  I used to dream about having some nice house, car or clothes.  None of this matters if you are not happy or have peace of mind.   Ask any celebrity!   I sat down and thought about what makes me happy, none of these things I realised cost a single penny.  So now I just concentrate on being happy and everything else will fall into place.  I no longer worry about how I will be happy or why, just that I will.  Everything else is just meh, as my son would say.

I try to meditate regularly, give thanks and blessings for everything I have every morning when I awake, am incredibly grateful for all I have.  I focus on all the wonderful things in my life and all the wonderful things to come, any negative thoughts that creep in I quickly dismiss and replace with a positive one.  Now you may think I am chatting mumbo jumbo but it does work, I have tried it and try to practice this way daily (I’m the most cynical person I know) so if it works for me it can work for you.

The world is full of beautiful people and things, I refuse to be brought down by the small majority of negative people trying to keep us down.  I have always had a thing where I would say my ‘spirit’ doesn’t take to someone I just met, and it hasn’t let me down.  Some people get a ‘gut’ feeling etc. this is your spirituality telling you something, I have just taken this to another level, listen to it!

So I only surround myself with positive people and positive things, I steer clear of anything negative, if I cannot, then I try to see the positive things about them/it.  I am learning each and every day and will never stop learning.  I hope you can too.

Have yourself a fabulous and blessed day, you deserve it! 😊



Approaching 50 – Part 2

A pattern seems to be emerging. When I was in my 20s and 30s I always seemed to be attending weddings or christenings, now it seems funerals are my main social event. I’m not making light of a sad and painful occasion but it seems to be like a reunion every time I attend one these days, although its lovely to see all these faces, it’s the only time I seem to see anyone from my youth. Which I find it sad; and wish we had more get togethers for happier occasions.
I’ve never been what they call high maintenance but it takes me twice as long to wash my hair put on a bit of mascaca and choose an outfit (I now need the entire day!) and then I feel like a trussed up turkey, squashed into a dress, feet killing me because I’m wearing heels, when all I want to do is wear trackpants and flats lol.

But I’m not ready for the twin set and pearls club either. But then there are times when (possibly it’s a full moon) I want to get glammed up, sparkle and shine my brightest, it can be empowering and boost your confidence, you feel good when you look good.

I don’t want to fall into the trap of complacency and just trudge along into old age. I want to stride into old age, grab it by the throat and show it who’s boss. I want to own it!
I aim to constantly evolve into something new, enjoying different things and challenge myself. Creating a better version of myself each time.


So, when I started to cry at EastEnders, then had a mini meltdown because I couldn’t find a tea towel that I liked, I realised either I had finally lost the plot or I was heading into the (sshhh) menopause! Or worse still, both!  Well how did that happen?  So, my brain no longer belongs to me and my body is doing strange things, this is new!

It’s kind of strange, I feel like I am entering a new world and am hoping to make it through to the other side.  Having spoken to friends and family I realise everyone’s experience is unique, but there are common symptoms.  I’m fascinated at how the human body works and how incredibly complex we are.

The menopause is supposed to be the sign you are heading into old age, but I’m not ready.  I’m happy to embrace getting older but I don’t, well, feel old!  Well maybe after a rare night out dancing and it takes me 2 days to recover!

When I feel manic and like life is on fast forward I feel blessed for my bolthole in Spain.  I can slow everything down and give my brain a chance to catch up. Everyone should have a bolthole, whether it’s the den in the attic, the garden in summer, or like me, a hideout abroad for the price of a meal out on a Saturday night.

I’ve never been one for western medicine, so for me my HRT is sunshine and serenity.  We may have to revisit this down the line!

Parenthood….. Letting Go!

I don’t think anything prepares you for parenthood. Everyone experiences it in their own way, but there are some common denominators. I realise as you get older there is no right or wrong way to raise your children, you just have to do your best and hope they turn out decent enough human beings. The first few years are a blur, endless nappies, multi-tasking like a ninja; and 2 hours’ sleep were deemed a luxury. Then comes the learning stage, which is both hilarious and hard work at the same time, but I think the hardest part is letting them go, and letting them find their own niche in the world. You hope that you have done a decent enough job so they have a good chance. Life is harsh, so if we can equip them to handle whatever life throws at them then I think we have succeeded.
My generation didn’t travel much as youngsters or have that travel bug, that so much of our children’s generation seem to have, we tended to be more focused on getting a job, so we could start earning money. I only know a handful of people that went to University, or even thought about starting their own business. Then before you knew it we were settling down and having babies. We kind of ‘fell’ into our lifestyle without thinking much about tomorrow, (of course there were always the exceptions to the rule).
Our children’s generation, in some ways are more clued up, they have a plan (and stick to it), they want to explore the world, all before 30! They are waiting longer to have children of their own and the world is their oyster if they so choose. But on the flip side they are also the lost generation, with mindless violence, child pregnancies, abusing the elderly and unable. They appear to be split down the middle. So where do we find the balance? Or is it too late for that? I often wonder what my great grandchild’s generation will be like? The one biggest benefit to having children that are grown, is it’s our time again! You are never too old to pursue your dreams!